i dont even know where to start because every time i try to tell this out loud i hear how it sounds myself
anyway. three years ago i was traveling to a funeral for a distant relative in another city. bus ride, five hours, i slept the whole way. woke up at some stop — twenty minute break, everyone got off to stretch. i got off too, bought coffee from a kiosk, sat down on a bench.
there was a woman sitting next to me. elderly, ordinary looking. we started talking, just to pass the time. she asked where i was headed, i said to a funeral. she said she was sorry for my loss. then she asked, do you think about it much? about death? i said well, lately yeah, stressful job, anxiety. she went quiet for a moment and said "you know, everything is going to be okay for you. you in particular. i can just see it."
i didnt think much of it. people say all kinds of things.
the bus started moving. i went back to my seat.
after a while i looked around — the woman hadnt come back. she wasnt on the bus. i figured she must have gotten off at that stop. okay, fine.
arrived, funeral, the usual. two days later heading back. and heres the thing.
im waiting for the bus, talking to a distant aunt i hadnt seen in years. i tell her about the stop, the woman. i describe her — grey coat, hair pulled back, thin-framed glasses. my aunt gives me this strange look and goes, wait. takes out her phone. scrolls through photos. shows me.
it was her. the same woman.
my aunt says thats my neighbors mother. she passed away. in april.
i was going to the funeral in october.
i still think about it — maybe it was just someone who looked similar? maybe i remembered wrong? but i have a very strong visual memory, its actually something people notice about me. and the coat. and the glasses. and the way she was sitting.
and thats not even the strangest part. the strangest part is that things genuinely did get better for me after that. and i dont know what to do with that.